Apoptosis

comic books My brother recently came down for a visit, and it was nice to see him for the time being. He doesn’t come around often, but when he does, he loves talking shop with the regulars at the cafe. He doesn’t live in South Florida anymore. He lives in North Florida after he graduated high school and began working for a construction company.

He graduated from UF with a degree in social engineering and ended up with the job of someone who studies value engineering. He is doing a lot better than me, and I am really happy I got to see him. Most of the time it’s hard for either of us to be able to see each other but every couple of months we make a big effort actually to be in each others presence.

This isn’t to say that we don’t talk, we just usually spend our time playing games together and doing that sort of thing. But he does like coming down and bombarding my cafe with drinks and arguments about who would win in a fight between the hulk and wolverine. He thinks the Hulk is greatly overpowered and wouldn’t be able to regenerate from being cleaved to bits. It’s adamantium for christ sake you can’t change that.

But lately, things have been a little bit weird; we’ve both just been stagnating. Neither of us has really begun doing what we want to do, but we have ended up in professions that both yield great stability and reward for both of us. While we aren’t necessarily complaining it is not what we sought out to do when we left home for the first time. Only real difference between us is that he can avoid mom and dad for as long as they don’t like traveling north while I’m just sort of pinned down here.david and goliath

I can only go so far because if the shop needs me, who are they going to go to? I need to be accessible and available after all. And I’m not ungrateful or anything; I just wish that maybe I could get my foot in the door somewhere else. But it’s hard to move when you’re carrying the weight of business on your back and nobody can helm the place that has helped you so much in the meantime. It’s just such a strange time.

My brother once offered me a job you know. Its weird because I told him, no, but I always wonder what would have happened if I took it. Would I be writing this same blog but complaining about different problems? It’s hard to tell how much of it is me being unhappy with the workplace versus me unhappy with the world as it is right now.

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